The NVC Human NEEDS.
(not wants)
Unfulfillment -> upset projected upon people/situations to explain discomfort.
Fulfillment -> access to calm, clarity, curiosity, connection.
CONNECTION
Acceptance
Affection
Appreciation
Authenticity
Belonging
Care
Closeness
Communication
Communion
Community
Companionship
Compassion
Consideration
Empathy
Friendship
Inclusion
Inspiration
Intimacy
Love
Mutuality
Nurturing
Partnership
Presence
Respect/Self-‐respect
Security
Self-‐Acceptance
Self-‐Care
Self-‐Connection
Shared Reality
Stability
Support
To know and be known know
To see and be seen
Trust
Understanding
Warmth
PLAY
Adventure
Excitement
Fun
Humor
Joy
Relaxation
Stimulation
PEACE
Acceptance
Balance
Beauty
Communion
Ease
Equanimity
Faith
Harmony
Hope
Order
Peace-‐of-‐mind
Space
PHYSICAL WELL-‐BEING
Air
Care
Food
Movement/exercise
Rest/sleep
Safety (protection from harm)
Sexual expression
Shelter
Touch
Water
MEANING
Awareness
Celebration
Challenge
Clarity
Competence
Consciousness
Contribution
Creativity
Discovery
Efficacy
Effectiveness
Growth
Integration
Learning
Mourning
Movement
Participation
Presence
Progress
Purpose
Self-‐expression
Stimulation
Understanding
AUTONOMY
Choice
Dignity
Freedom
Independence
Self-‐Expression
Space
Spontaneity
NVC:
- Observe situation neutrally (You came home later than agreed)
- Observe and claim emotional reactions (I felt angry, which was a secondary response to sadness)
- Find underlying need causing emotional reaction (I needed emotional connection)
- Make a request* to partner to help fulfill need (Can you please come home at the agreed upon time or let me know when you will be late, so that I can find emotional connection in the evenings?)
*not a demand. request = optional. demand = control/coercion.
